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Hey everyone. I know you guys have been just dying to hear from me ( Okay, maybe I’ve been dying to be read about). Anyway after having a stretch off from work I came up with this blog post idea. It came like a vision, nay a flash… Okay I thought of it 5 minutes before typing this. Anyway here are the ways that I care for my lovely introvert, Katie.

How to care for your introverted spouse

I think that it is fair to start this by saying that I am a prime example of an extrovert. I strive on the atmosphere of people and conversation. I wake up in a dull mood and have to express energy to lift myself up. Katie, however, is rather introverted, as I’m sure you have come to find out through here.

Let them have their space

The first thing I will say that has helped me is to let her have her space when she is feeling overwhelmed or upset. No good can come from irritating and annoying her. I promise no matter how smooth you are, when an introvert wants to be alone, you let them be alone. No good will come out of it if you bug them. Only anger and frustration.

Let them have quiet

Another pointer, this one geared towards extroverts such as myself, is when you are in the mood to chat and let out some of that cooped up energy pick your time wisely. If they just got home? No. Quietly reading a book? No. If they just woke up? #^%@ NO!!!! introverts wake up overstimulated and are quiet because they try to reach a normal level. I have tried and tried and failed and failed more times then I would even like to admit. I am a very stubborn guy. I will promise you it is much better to just play with Gatsby or maybe do some swift fury cleaning. Much better idea and they will appreciate it.

don’t force quick decisions

This next one may just be Katie, but I’ll give you guys pointers anyway in case you meet someone like this. She is extremely indecisive and will never pick anything. We follow the rule “Nose goes” as a law.I’ve learned to either be really fast with this or just accept that I will most of the time have to make a decision. I put this under introverts because when I argue it, her true colors show. She gets frustrated and worked up. It’s adorable… most of the time ( love you Pookie!). The problem with that is, it means that I’m not allowed to do it. Sometimes it’s nice to not decide. Then I remember I’m the man so I just grow a pair… Just saying (Katie may argue that I don’t always grow a pair, just ignore her).

Just enjoy being with them

The last thing that I wanted to mention about caring for my introvert is knowing that she will not always be quiet and reading wanting to be alone. Like any other person, going through withdraw from human interaction can get to her. She will very rarely come home after a long day and be full of excitement and energy. Use this to your advantage since it won’t happen often. Go for a date, mention that thing you need cleaned but really don’t wanna clean, take Gatsby on a long walk in the dog park. They will be happy to go do something, especially if they know it will make you happy. Just never mention hiking or she will hold it against you forever when you only go one time all year(Katie has/will not ever forget that one).

Well guys, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my post. Please let me and Katie know what you think. And I’ll end with another open question. Are you living with someone socially different from you? How do you handle it?

 

 

  • Katie Jeffries

    I am a high energy extrovert, and I moved in with my quiet, introverted boyfriend a few months ago. That difference has probably been the biggest learning curve for us so far. We’re both getting better at being more intentional with our interactions, so we can find a way both our needs are met. We’ve found that if he takes about 30 minutes to himself when he wakes up in the morning, or gets home from work, then he’s able to better engage with me when I want to chatter on about everything under the sun 🙂 Helpful tips, thank you!

    • I’d agree that our introverted/extrovertedness was our biggest learning curve too. I think once you get past the realization that the other functions differently and it’s not anything personal, it becomes a lot easier. Now Carl understands that I don’t want to be alone because I don’t want to be near him, it’s because I need time to process and relax from everything. I know he needs to tell me about his whole day, so it’s just a matter of doing things in a way that both our needs are met. I’m glad you both have worked through it. It’s a definite adjustment when you move in with a significant other. I’m glad this post was helpful to you, that definitely makes Carl happy 🙂

  • I’m a introvert and my boyfriend is an extrovert, I’m sure it’s been a learning curve for him since he moved in with me. Although we’ve found a happy medium, when we have to go out and be social we always agree upon a time to leave that I feel comfortable with, and it works out so well! He’s also really good with talking a lot and having me listen to him and he doesn’t try to force me to talk too much, which I appreciate! But when I do talk and ask a bunch of questions, he is always happy about it!

    • YES! Carl and I do the same thing. Before every outing, we have this “ok, how long do we want to stay?” discussion. Fortunately, we are usually on the same page with how long we want outings to be. It definitely took some adjusting when we first started living together, and there’s still times where I’m like “get the eff away from me I want to me alone,” but overall I think we’ve found a great balance. I’m glad you and your boyfriend got it figured out.

  • I so love this! I’m an introvert, and it rings very true!

    • I’m not sure how I feel about admitting it, but he’s definitely right about it all. Though I’m not sure how much of what he said pertains to me being an introvert, or just me being me haha.

  • Wow. I’ve never thought about the other person’s perspective when it comes to dating an introvert (dear Lord, Katie, we are legit the same person that it scares me sometimes) but these things really do ring true.

    Note to self: Save this to show to future SO.