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Long before I was ever a bride, or even in a relationship with Carl, I watched the show Bridezilla’s with my mother.  It was terrifying.  I held many theories about why those women behaved the way they did and being a bride only confirmed my theories.  I believe many of those women behaved the way they did because they were at their wit’s end.  Sometimes people endlessly ask the bride stupid questions and are nothing but problems.  It takes a HUGE toll on your ability to be kind to everyone.  And others…well many of them are just assholes, bride or not.

A wedding is an insanely overwhelming life event.  It’s incredibly easy to let the stress turn you into a shell of your former self.  A mean, moody, and probably bloated shell.  Things happen and you end up snapping like that carrot you’re eating because you’re going to lose those 5 pounds if it kills you.  It takes a certain mentality to survive planning a wedding and it taught me many things.  I learned the approach I took towards wedding planning (or at least tried to take) really helped with every day stress too.  Keep reading to read how I think you can save your sanity even if you aren’t a bride.

How to not be a bridezilla

Know that you will not get everything you want.

Don’t lie to yourself and think your wedding is going to be everything you have in that secret Pinterest board.  Something will go wrong, someone will tell you no and something will be way too expensive.  I guarantee if you ask any of those brides with the perfect looking weddings on Pinterest they will tell you they did not get everything they wanted.  Remember, you’re working on a marriage, not just a wedding.  Is getting every single thing you want really that important at the end of the day?  I’m sure there are many things in the past you’ve wanted and didn’t get, but I’d venture to say you’re pretty with your life thus far.

Bad things will happen.

Somebody is going to piss you off.  It might happen often…and it might be the same person each time.  Somebody will slack on the ONE but VERY important job you gave them.  You might find out it’s impossible to have that song played and that special person might not be able to come.  Remember, if you end up married at the end of the day, the wedding was a success.

Choose what is most important to you.

If you’re the type of person who wants to plan and have every single detail perfect, you’re in for a stressful time.  Like I said, you can’t get everything you want and things will go wrong.  Save yourself some stress (and money) and pick the top important things for your wedding.  For me, I cared about my dress and flowers.  I got the dress of my dreams and got all the flowers I asked for, everything else was about getting the closest to what I wanted in the easiest and most reasonable way.  It’s just not worth the stress.  I promise you, if your second or third choice of something is cheaper and easier to get, it’s worth it.

Perfection is a point of view.

For my wedding, I didn’t get everything I wanted and things went wrong, but if you ask me what my wedding day was like I will say it was perfect.  Perfection is a point a view, it’s what you decide it will be.  I know a girl who had to call the cops on her maid of honor the night before the wedding and replaced her the day off with a cousin.  That’s a nightmare for any bride.  But to listen to her tell the story now, it’s hilarious and just another memory of her wedding day.  She didn’t have to redo her wedding she still had a perfect day.  Your wedding is what you make of it.

A few random tips (that can apply to every day life).

    1. You will sweat WAY more than you ever thought possible. Bring extra deodorant and a hand fan.
    2. Everything will take way more time to do than you think.  Plan a lot of extra time into your wedding day schedule.
    3. Finish all the must do, super important things the week before the wedding.  If you have to leave things to do the week of the wedding, make sure they are things that wont matter if they don’t get done.  If you get them done, then great, if not then no big deal.  It makes the wedding week that much easier.
    4. Put someone in charge of taking questions.  When I sent out wedding itineraries I included my sister’s phone number for any questions and included the date my “wedding vacation” started.  I put all the most important information on the itinerary, and my sister knew all the important details, if the answer to their question wasn’t on the sheet and my sister didn’t know it, then it’s not something I care about enough to worry about so they don’t need to either.
    5. When looking at the cost of things, think of what else you could purchase instead.  I loved my wedding, but I cringe when I think about what I could buy if I had the money in cash.  Don’t go crazy with spending.
    6. Keep the goal in mind.  Your big day is about marrying your best friend, nothing else that day is as important as the commitment you make to your husband.  The wedding is just one day of the rest of your lives together.

I haven’t watched Bridezilla’s since I’ve been engaged and married, so I’m not sure if having been through a wedding changes the way I see the show.  I still think some of those brides really are just cracking under the pressure.  I also still think some of those brides are just plain psycho bitches.  Whenever I happen to come across the show I’m sure I will relate to them in a way I didn’t earlier and probably have more pity for their problems.

How did you manage stress when you were planning your wedding? Do you think these tips will help you even if you aren’t a bride? 

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  • These are really great tips. You’re right, if you’re married at the end of the day, it was a success. Nothing else truly matters, but those details are way easy to get sucked into. To me, the wedding opened my eyes to my truest friends and family members – I got to see many of them in a whole new light, since some really stepped up and helped me graciously, and some completely dropped the ball, complained, and were such a disappointment. That was one thing I was not expecting, and it made it really hard.

  • I think I did fairly well until the. Night before when I was the only one up at the hotel picking music…I had a freak out because I was still awake with like 3 hours before I had to be getting my day started. Thankfully my MIL helped me calm down and got my husband to work so I could catch a few zzzs. Other than that I was relaxed and booked everything unseen and it was awesome. I do agree with you on the cash though. If I only had that moolah now!

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